theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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