okay pat passed out under dana's car
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
