____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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