You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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