My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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