How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
