lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
