I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
