Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Life is so much better after having sex.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
