the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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