he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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