Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
