I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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