we made out on top of his cat.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
