Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
