If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
