don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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