I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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