Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
