i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
