Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
