Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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