so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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