is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
