i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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