shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
