its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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