I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
