Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
