just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
