Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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