spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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