Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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