Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
