i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
