Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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