who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
