Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
