you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
