her vagine was all disorganized.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
