well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
