nut hugger
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
