He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
