Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
At least make sure they are 18
Why
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
