i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
