Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
