i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Barsexuality is the new black.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
