I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
