I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
This baby is an asshole
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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