Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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