Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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