There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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