YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize